Life lately...

Wow, so it's been almost a month since I last posted... man life sure seems to get away from you... especially for us during the summer, when we are not working we spend alot of our time at our lake place.

We decided to take a break for the summer, and maybe even longer we'll see..

I've been walking everyday 2+ miles a day and I have increased my water intake to 1/2 my weight in oz a day... walking has been so therapeutic, I can't even begin to explain what it has done for me, not just physically and health wise, but it's "my" time. I turn my music up and just get in a zone :-)

We decided to put the adoption idea on hold... after posting about us considering adoption, I got a little overwhelmed and had a breakdown and when I say breakdown I had a BREAKDOWN!!.. I started crying one Friday after I got off work (around 1pm)  and literally cried all day long, the entire car ride to the lake which was extra long that day because Nick had a few places he wanted to stop along the way to the lake. I started crying to Nick that we will never be parents... We've spent $35,000 so far and I'm just not sure how much more we can afford, let alone how much more heartbreak we can handle.

I mean after 7 years.. Officially this month, multiple specialists, multiple failed cycles, 1 miscarriage, and one that didn't even make it to the stage it can be considered a miscarriage, but BELIEVE me it was, in our hearts at least.

I had one girl tell me her story about their adoption, everything was going great until the baby was born and the baby was born with PCP in her system, so they had a choice to either adopt the baby still or move on and lose the $12,000 they had just spent for this. She did the research along with her attorney and social worker, and they found that the worse outcome would be the child could develop ADD, so they decided their child could have had ADD and went ahead to adopt her, but I think what if it was something worse, what would you do??

I had another girl they had the baby, the adoption was almost final. The dad came back out of no where and fought and won the baby, after they had her since birth!. The tears that weekend just kept flowing.. no matter what Nick said they just kept coming... he even tried his humor, which if you know Nick.. he is quite the "Funny Guy" Or so he thinks he is :-) LOL So we decided at that point to take a break, if a miracle baby needed adopted God will lead us to each other.. until then we are going to take it easy until we decide what / when is next.

I know there are adoption grants and all kinds of things we can do, but we've made it this far and have not asked for money from anyone and we just feel guilty for asking. So for now we'll pray about it and if it's meant to be it will all work out in the end.

Just a reminder to those out there whom have NEVER faced infertility... I can't tell you how many times in the last month I've heard one ore more of the following statements below... EDUCATE yourself people!!

I copied this from a website of common things said to people with Infertility:

* "You guys just need to relax"
*" You guys just need to go on a vacation"
* " You guys just need to get drunk and have sex"
* " My Sister / friend / cousin / had trouble getting pregnant, now she has a beautiful family, it will happen"
* " Have you thought about adopting"

For the record, the last one shouldn't be mentioned because adoption is not a solution to infertility. It is a solution to wanting to be a parent. While one does affect the other, they are not the same. All the other items in the above list shouldn't be mentioned because they are non-medical solutions to a medical problem. You wouldn't tell a person with Cancer that they just need to go on vacation.

Well I think I'll just go and make a drink and have sex with my husband..that's supposed to work right??? :-)

Remember Humor / Faith / Prayer and God will get you through this heart wrenching journey..

~ Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him & he will make your paths straight.~ Proverbs 3:5-6